Freaky Friday!

Actually it wasn’t freaky at all it was super fun Friday!My faithful Friday night friend came Sophie came and she was joined by a lovely girl Kate, who’d went to primary school with me! We had a superb night filled with great chat and Prosecco! 😁

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Climbing a mountain!

I was at drake music Belfast this morning with brain injury matters which was brilliant! Playing music on suitable instruments and doing a wee video for utv. Really enjoyable. Unfortunately when I got there the lift had broken but a challenge I was happy to accept! Climbing the stairs! And I did it successfully so […]

Read More Climbing a mountain!

Wreckless waterfalls

Got this of a Facebook brain injury group today and I think it’s so accurate. “Thats how my brain feels – that it is flooding. And in pain. Funny people care not to understand. That even though I’m in pain and flooding I’m still a beautiful person. Just as a water fall is beautiful. But […]

Read More Wreckless waterfalls

Party, party, PARTY

Tonight, my beautician Fiona came and did my waxing. She is such a good beautician to have cause I’ve been going to her since i was like 12 and she even came up to the hospital to give me wee treatments. When she comes here she brings her lovely wee dog Missy. So maybe to […]

Read More Party, party, PARTY

I get so angry

I was never an angry person, but this brain injury has unfairly taken my cool it and reasoning skills. I got annoyed at Linda for I don’t even know what for tonight and I feel awful. She is the one that’s always there to support me and I just feel really horrendous about getting worked […]

Read More I get so angry

Swimming encouragement!

Andrea who has been taking me for swimming lessons since last April said she can notice a big improvement in my left arm and leg. I’ve mastered the walking forward so now we are trying to conquer backwards and sideways. Hopefully over the next month (especially after the botox) it will get resolved!

Read More Swimming encouragement!

Early bird

That’s one thing about this brain injury it’s made me be an early riser. The early bird catches the worm and all that…

Read More Early bird

Tools to make it work!

This afternoon I went to cedar! This week I saw the lovely IT man (Joe) The point of this session was to see what I knew and how capable I was having one working hand at the moment and if there was any equipment to assist one handed people! I think it went ok. And […]

Read More Tools to make it work!

Head on.

Went to the cinema today with James. Did a few steps up and back down! And controlled myself enough to stick to the diet and not get any ice cream or chocolate! Now I’m pleased as we are back home and I made some of my specialty Jamie Oliver pasta sauce for us to tuck […]

Read More Head on.

Brilliant bestie!

My brilliant friend Sophie (who I mention a lot who is an OT with stroke patients in a Belfast hospital and has supported and helped me through this whole thing!) was helping me tonight to try and encourage my ‘useless’ left hand.

Read More Brilliant bestie!

Re:growth

No rain, no flowers. Flowers need rain to grow, So as a flower for my regrowth, I need some rain. There will be downs with the ups. But hopefully eventually I’ll grow.

Read More Re:growth

5 years!

Today is the anniversary of being the owners of our home 5 years… HOMEOWNERS! There is NO better person I could share it with than James my love. Houses are houses but home is where the heart is and I can’t wait to get back to where my heart is!

Read More 5 years!

Nevermind gin and juice…

Rum and coke is my new poison! James and I went to see catfish and the bottlemen for my birthday gift (James had organised) and we stayed in the fitzwilliam. It was a lovely night. But here is were I decided rum and coke is my new poison! And this morning I found out James […]

Read More Nevermind gin and juice…

Back to trauma

Take it from me. Be extra careful and don’t just stop and swerve for any animal. You might feel rotten for a day or two and go through some emotional trauma but it won’t be trauma like I am experiencing, you’ll still have your life not altered. Which, take my advice, is all I want.

Read More Back to trauma

Congratulations!

This a blog post dedicated to my wonderful friend Sophie. Firstly CONGRATULATIONS Sophie ❤️ you made such a beautiful bride. I had the privilege of being invited to her wedding just after Christmas. It was such a lovely day and it was a day I could celebrate with everyone else and forget this awful situation […]

Read More Congratulations!

Successful swimming!

Swimming today was so good! Practicing the backstroke and breaststroke today with good results 🙂 my head was right under the water when doing breaststroke and if I could get my left arm to work i think i could manage by myself, my useless arm just keeps me back at certain times. But I also […]

Read More Successful swimming!

Physio :)

Today in physio I tried something I hadn’t done before! And i would say it was quite successful. Victoria got me on the floor we were aiming for press up position And though she was behind me taking some of the weight I would say it was quite successful and it felt so good being […]

Read More Physio 🙂

Bed socks

I’ve been wearing bed socks religiously for the last year and a half since I’ve been home from hospital! I really need them for my stone cold left foot. So when I couldn’t find them tonight in all seriousness I said ‘what am I gonna do without my bed socks!?’ 😂😁😂 it’s not as funny […]

Read More Bed socks

Happy Ending!

Though my story is not over it’s going well, may as well make the journey along the way fun and enjoyable! So last night went to mine and James. Got a lovely takeaway from an Asian restaurant and had a nice relaxing night! Taking it easy!

Read More Happy Ending!

Victoria is a star!

You’re probably sick of reading about how great Victoria is but I can’t stop saying it cause she is so brilliant! This evening we were working with the forearm rollator i just got! It’s one literal ‘step’ to independence!

Read More Victoria is a star!

Fabulous night!

Tonight really was a throwback Thursday! Went down to the lovely Caroline’s for dinner. She was the lady I’ve wrote about before who’s son had a stroke nearly 10 years ago and she kindly let me use the downstairs shower in her house they had put in for him before he could walk. But he […]

Read More Fabulous night!

Walking backwards!

I can’t even walk like a normal person yet! But my lovely swimming instructor helped me walk backwards in the water today. She said I had got to the stage were I had basically mastered the walking forwards with her the water, so today’s new test was to walk backwards. It was a challenge but […]

Read More Walking backwards!

Lucky number (2)7!

That’s were I am now. And can’t wait to see what the 27th year has to bring! I hope all good things. Last night I had a birthday night out with some friends! It was so good 😊 and makes me so happy to say I know this group of lovely people!

Read More Lucky number (2)7!

Wake up!

I’ve probably written this before so I should apologise in advice if I’m repeating myself but I hate this. I feel like I could be in a nightmare and I could just wake up and this would all be gone. That’s how surreal this whole experience has felt. The brain is such a complicated thing. […]

Read More Wake up!

Valentines blues.

Valentines is a day to celebrate love. Usually with your partner or someone you love. Not a sad day. But it’s sad for me 😦 This will be the 3rd year separated from my love. Life has been so cruel to James and I.

Read More Valentines blues.

Seeing Stars!!

Had to go back to RVH eye clinic to get another check on my double vision to make sure I’m not seeing stars 🌟 or anything weird! All okay but my glasses have been changed slightly!the eye specialist and I also talked about how I have changed my mind from NEVER getting the eye surgery […]

Read More Seeing Stars!!

My hero!

http://www.youtube.com/watch This post is for James, my hero. I know I’ve done this before but I just can’t say enough how great he is with this all, how patient he has been for 2.5 years and how willing he is to help with me doing physio stuff and he always has his eyes and ears […]

Read More My hero!

Sit ski!

Tonight my lovely, super, thoughtful doctor friend Ana arranged for me to give sit skiing a go! It was good fun!

Read More Sit ski!

Awareness

This whole thing has made me very very aware of suicide and mental health. This wasn’t something that I ever thought about til now. But now i actually understand a little bit. I actually feel admiration for people. It would be hard to live everyday hating everything. I hate a lot now but hopefully I’ll […]

Read More Awareness

Sunday night sadness

On a Sunday night I get more sad than normal which is crap. It’s the fact my life goes back to the reality of what my weeks contain which is not normal stuff like school, work, going to the gym (my physio is just at home), socially meeting up with friends etc. can’t wait until […]

Read More Sunday night sadness

Why not me!!

Why me!? Or you could look at it as why not me? Why did this happen to me!?! My mum, god mother and godmothers daughter had this discussion tonight. And unfortunately it just happened. So I just have to make the most of it and try to help the hundreds of others.

Read More Why not me!!

Family love 💕

Grandparents came up to visit! ❤️🥰❤️ this is something I miss because when my life was ‘normal’ I’d probably have called in with them 4/5 times a week now I’m lucky if I see them 1/2 times 😭

Read More Family love 💕

Food for thought!

I got a new pair of glasses and sunglasses 😎 I’m actually thinking about the operation for my dodgy left eye now. If I get that it should •cosmetically lift my eyelid •help/correct my double vision •prevents me from needing to rely on my glasses. There is so much more than working on the walking/getting […]

Read More Food for thought!

Li(c)king left hand

Starting to like my left arm. The wonderful Victoria advised me to try and include the left hand when eating. Like put cutlery in my left hand (even if I’m not using it) to make it feel included. So tonight I ate a triangle of pizza with it and a yogurt with it! Mum obviously […]

Read More Li(c)king left hand

UBI

Change from acquired brain injury (abi) to uninvited brain injury (ubi) And this ubi better not get too comfy! Cause I have got a lot to do. So ubi get on your bike and bugger off.

Read More UBI

Acquired

When I searched the word acquired this came up: captured collected seized accomplished attained earned gained gathered learned obtained reached realized secured won I think these are not words I can relate to acquired brain injury cause many of these words are positive. I don’t think I did anything to ‘earn’ this brain injury or […]

Read More Acquired

Dreams can come true!!

I really hope so! Cause my fabulous uncle had a dream that he was I was sitting in granny’s living room on the sofa and he was there to sitting on the other sofa on the phone with my dad! And I turned and walked up to take the phone off my uncle and I […]

Read More Dreams can come true!!

Broken

I think I may have shared this saying before but it’s so great I just love it a friend sent this picture. And it’s so true! Broken crayons do the same job and we wouldn’t throw them out!

Read More Broken

FFFF**K

F**K F**KK F**KKK I F**KING HATE THAT WHEELCHAIR. I found it awful being pushed around a big shopping centre in town. It was the first time really in a big public place in town in that thing. And I know it’s a horrible thing to think and I should be ashamed thinking like that cause […]

Read More FFFF**K

Perfect 10!

I know I’ve done a blog on weight/size before but I’m so happy I’m going to do another one! So if anyone had read the last one you are aware when I had the accident I was 7stone 11pounds fitting into size 10 jeans easily but when I got out of hospital I was 9stone […]

Read More Perfect 10!

Just found this…

Just found this… and I don’t know how I feel… I don’t really feel anything… it’s a mark sheet from riding, and yes I understand some people would feel dislike but honestly I quite like the ‘new me’ which has come from this ‘nightmare’.

Read More Just found this…

Work placements.

Today went to Cedar for my final induction meeting. I’m really looking forward to starting my 2 year back to work course they are going to provide. They will help me organise courses, any studying/exams I need to take for the work I am interested in getting into and help me set up work placements […]

Read More Work placements.

Jumper joy!

After learning from Sophie last night I put it in to practice this morning – jumper joy and wondrous walking! So put my jumper on with no help and Michelle and I walked from the bedroom to the stairs!

Read More Jumper joy!

Fabulous February

Must be cause it’s the start of a great month. Fabulous February! My walking was great today, my birthday is in just over 2 weeks (16th February), and I managed a great success today! (Will be too much information for some people so you have been warned.) So today stretching as usual and success we’ve […]

Read More Fabulous February

Terrible/selective memory

It seems to be my brain only remembers the things it wants to remember. It’s annoying cause it my brain only remembers something’s but I ‘myself’ want to remember everything I’ve been told/places I’ve been/people I’ve met. The past few days I’ve also been very sad. It’s like I remember exactly what town looks like […]

Read More Terrible/selective memory

Lively Lunges!!

Back in the day when I was flat out at the gym probably about 5 times a week – squats and lunges were two of my favourite things to do! But the past 2 years I haven’t been able to go to an ‘ordinary’ gym just physio gyms so tonight I was delighted when physio […]

Read More Lively Lunges!!

Smiling but raging

That’s James’s new description for me! Couldn’t be more right. Get raging at a lot more than I would prior 2017 I didn’t get angry at much. Chilled out lady has obviously evacuated the building cause there was a major explosion that interrupted everything!

Read More Smiling but raging

The doctor arrived!

My lovely friend Ana who I’ve wrote about before called to see me. She is the one who is a doctor now and she helped me think I’m actually getting better. We talked about how much better I am from when she was last here (well before Christmas) which was good to talk about but […]

Read More The doctor arrived!

Nothing is permanent.

I think this was something I really took for granted. How life was just how it was and I kind of stopped thinking that much could/would change. I always think I thought it would get better, never really get dramatically worse. How wrong was I!!

Read More Nothing is permanent.

Just keep swimming…

Today I was at my weekly swimming lesson. Today was great as usual I practiced walking in the water and it’s got way better. Even managed to walk backwards successfully! The swimming instructor said she noticed a big change from when I started swimming, which is very positive. It’s back to the same point I’ve […]

Read More Just keep swimming…

To the left!

Great physio today with Victoria. Using the stimulator again to practice when I walk. And we have noticed improvements even in my crap’ left leg.

Read More To the left!

Stimulator!

I tried out a stimulator today it was in physio! And it really helped me bend my knee when walking which was great! We are going to be using it for walking more. I’m looking forward to trying it cause it worked while I was walking and apparently it could have gone either way – […]

Read More Stimulator!

Relaxing rest!

This afternoon pa Angela was very kind. She was the one that used to do make up professionally and i was spoilt today she gave me a lovely facial and fixed up my face! Here’s me mid facial! And makeup fixed after! Smile! don’t smile!!!

Read More Relaxing rest!

Big (wee) Lindy’s birthday.

As you may know mums birthday was yesterday. So we made her party tonight cause I had nothing on (no physio etc) Was a lovely evening. We went to the nice Indian in Lisburn for dinner…me, James and Lindy! Was a very nice night. The food was good, and the craic was great! I know […]

Read More Big (wee) Lindy’s birthday.

Super charity!

Is brain injury matters! I’ve been going there since last March ish and it’s been great! Letting me take part in interesting workshops – photography – nutrition – yoga – cooking/baking – art and even more. And it’s helped me meet people I can relate to through brain injury which has been good and helped […]

Read More Super charity!

Improvement (very random)

I think another positive as well as confidence with this tbi is its helped my dyslexia. They didn’t discover my dyslexia until I was in 1st year. My parents always thought it but my primary school said no because I passed my spelling tests. But as I’ve said before my good memory helped me through […]

Read More Improvement (very random)

Left leg, right leg, repeat

Physio tonight was in the standing frame balancing on my left leg and lifting my right then vice versa. Was good. Managed it fine. The only bit that is annoying is cause my crappy left leg is harder to work than my right leg and my left thigh is super tight it kept annoyingly pulling […]

Read More Left leg, right leg, repeat

Google

Google is sometimes good and sometimes bad. But I suppose this is practical if you needed to know about tbi but also could be scary if you were alone in this situation. When you look up tbi: ‘Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is a complex injury with a broad spectrum of symptoms and disabilities. The impact on […]

Read More Google

Linda can’t wait!

Before I left home when i was 21 I was very fussy about EVERYTHING being ironed which was bane of Linda’s life! My fussiness went out the window when I moved out and had to do my own ironing! But now I can’t wait to be able to iron cause when I can do that […]

Read More Linda can’t wait!

Saturday night

Saturday night is not really any different to any other day to me now. When I was working Saturday night was usually the night to ‘party’ but now I’m not working or doing anything – Saturday night is basically the same as every other night. I just can’t wait till all this has passed.

Read More Saturday night

You’re alive. Respect that.

A very predictable blog tonight a line from greys anatomy. But it really stood out. If you are reading this you should respect that you are alive and be thankful. Thankful for everything you have: family, food, a house, problems you can deal with… and I need to remember that too, all the issues I […]

Read More You’re alive. Respect that.

Conquering!

Tonight was doing fantastic physio with Victoria. Trying to balance on my left and right leg on there own standing on a wobbly balance cushion! And managed to conquer it! I think I’m going to try and buy a balance cushion from decathlon so I can add balancing into my daily routine.

Read More Conquering!

Barefoot

Tonight it was just me and Linda. So after physio (which was great I was doing a wee bit of balancing on one leg at a time in the standing frame but I wasn’t strapped in and Victoria wasn’t really holding me so I was trying to do it by myself!) After that me and […]

Read More Barefoot

Friends4Life

My friend Chris came to visit me tonight. We met in first year in school and we became besties immediately. But we grew apart when I moved school in 6th year. This whole awful situation has reminded me I still have true good friends. Chris has been a prime example of a great friend, he’s […]

Read More Friends4Life

Love your brain

This was put Instagram by @loveyourbrain this morning and I thought it was a really good point. “It takes courage to re-establish your identity. You may never be the exact same person as you were before your accident. But perhaps you’ll be even better. Perhaps you’ll be more adaptable to change or more compassionate towards […]

Read More Love your brain

Looking forward!

But to do that I had to look back a bit! Video 1 is when I was back in the brain injury unit just learning how to use the ‘stedy’ Video 2 is at home learning to walk. And on the stairs which makes the challenge twice as hard. Watching these has made me more […]

Read More Looking forward!

Overwhelming…

I heard that word use to describe situations before but I’d never really understood it until now. This situation is so overwhelming. Everything is like x100. And not overwhelming in a sense of joy/good, in a sense of despair/sadness. It seems life is overwhelming.

Read More Overwhelming…

Super success!

I managed to do a big walk to the car with James 🙂 From the conservatory (where my wee chair is, out to the hall, down the hall, into the kitchen, through the back door, up the driveway – which was up a wee bit of a hill – to his car door and then […]

Read More Super success!

Stairs success!

Walked all the way up the stairs in Mum’s house with James! So pleased! And the bannister is on the left so on my wick side! I was doing most of the heavy work James was just there for a tiny bit of support or incase I would have a wee stumble which I did […]

Read More Stairs success!

Moving forward!

I was at cedar today which was good! I’ve one more meeting and then I am registered to start! Today I also gave my mum a positive shock! She helped me walk out to the stairlift and then I sat there while she got the folding up wherlchair to take me out to the car. […]

Read More Moving forward!

Getting to grips

As you know I love art! My cousin gave me an art book for Christmas and I used it this morning to help me paint and I think using has really helped me get to grips with acrylic paint!

Read More Getting to grips

Dreams can come true…

But I really hope not! I just had a mid morning nap cause I’m going swimming this afternoon so I need all the energy I can get, and when I woke up there now I just remembered my dream! I had a dream I had a glass of orange juice and James came up for […]

Read More Dreams can come true…

Love/Hate

I feel so much confusion. I still ‘love’ myself but at the same time I’ve never ‘hated’ myself so much. This blog is probably getting very repetitive now, I’m on a rollercoaster every day sadly there is no stop and there is a seat beside me so unfortunately you are on it too.

Read More Love/Hate

Something so easy

Is hard. I am lying in bed and my toes on my left foot were freezing! So the most straightforward thing (I imagined) to do was curl my toes up. It was impossible to do on that stupid left foot! It will have to go through the night as an ice block.

Read More Something so easy

Yeo physio!!

Tonight we were working on getting up from the armchair myself and we practiced a few walks are definite aim is walking indoors by myself with my walking stick by Easter.

Read More Yeo physio!!

welcome to JBA!

JBA. You don’t want to be in JBA (jealous bitches anonymous). Unfortunately I seem to be the leader of that group. James is going on a skiing holiday in a few weeks, and I know I shouldn’t be cold about that but I can’t help it. I think it is mainly because of not being […]

Read More welcome to JBA!

Consider this…

I was feeling very down tonight and sent my uncle a message telling him how I felt. He sent me this ‘You just need to consider that just like a scar or cut in your skin can hurt so the damage which occurred in your brain can also cause unexpected feelings. Think back to this […]

Read More Consider this…

Big Mile Stone!

Was in the bathroom. Mums phone was ringing so she left me on the shower seat alone. I got undressed myself. Totally by myself! Splints, shoes, socks, top and trousers. Probably doesn’t sound like a big deal but one handed! It was a big deal for me especially the bra! Undid the strap at the […]

Read More Big Mile Stone!

No change in intelligence

‘A concussion does not necessarily affect intelligence. … Following a concussion, the brain is unable to function as well as it did prior to injury. This is why we typically see some difficulties with memory or academics. However, once the brain recovers there is no change in a person’s overall intelligence.’ I’m not stupid! Don’t speak to me like I am!

Read More No change in intelligence

:)

Stayed down in mine and James house last night and made it up our stairs again without too much help. 🙂 I’ll be able to tell the physio today with pride!

Read More 🙂

Top treatment!

Tonight I’m staying down in mine and James’s house and I’m getting top class treatment!! Lovely red curry made and wine being poured! This is the life! (Well you all know by now I don’t mean that at all but you have to take your glory’s when they are in front of you!)

Read More Top treatment!

Physio!!

Victoria and I have a plan as you know- walking indoors unaided by Easter! 🙂 I’m doing most of the walking myself at the moment. Victoria just has to help my left hip. So I just have to focus on getting my left hip forward. It’s crazy when I think about how everything that was […]

Read More Physio!!

Welcome to 2019

Brought in the new year with a lovely bunch of soon to be family! It was brilliant went to James’s sisters in dormara was a lovely evening had dinner and brought in new year as chilled bunch of friends!

Read More Welcome to 2019

Turmoil

Turmoil – a state of great disturbance, confusion, or uncertainty. That’s what it feels like I’m stuck in. Also I’ve never been such a horrible, nightmare for my mum. I say things I don’t really mean to her. It’s like the things what I’ve heard before but I didn’t really understand it now I do, […]

Read More Turmoil

Whip it into shape!

Its been decided! I want to try a patch over my right eye to try and encourage my dodgy left eyeball to open more! This is quite a common struggle in brain injury to have double vision. So now I wear glasses and have a dropped eye lid. Oh well worse things have happened! If […]

Read More Whip it into shape!

S**t time.

I’m in the realisation that this is such a s**t time. I just really wish this would all disappear. But it won’t.

Read More S**t time.

Wonderful wedding!

Yesterday my wonderful friend Sophie got married! It was so lovely! Sophie has been such a faithful friend through all this horrible stuff. And to help the situation she is an OT (occupational therapist) so she has been so so helpful. Yesterday was so lovely and beautiful and perfect for a perfect and kind girl […]

Read More Wonderful wedding!

Lovely day!

Today was so lovely 😊 went to Montalto Estate with all the Anderson’s and their extended family. Was so very nice but it brought back a little of the heartbreak because it’s a nice wedding venue too and I’m so far away to where I thought I would be.

Read More Lovely day!

Easter bunny! 🐰

The physio has been the Easter bunny for me! She has given me a great Easter egg that won’t make me fat!! She is saying how our aim is to have me walking independently by Easter 🐣 woohoo that’s only like 12 weeks away so not a massive chunk of my life. I’m gonna work […]

Read More Easter bunny! 🐰

Tracheotomy

I never would have thought about/known about what a tracheotomy was or what it looked like except for getting an unintentional scar from one. Now I’m stuck with one which is horrible and ugly but at the same time I’m grateful for it when I needed help to breathe. Isn’t it just amazing what equipment […]

Read More Tracheotomy

If you hadn’t noticed

…the walking is my main aim… So my latest challenge that I completed successfully was… I got myself turned around from the front seat in James’s car, got both my feet on the ground, held on to the door with my right hand and stood up! If I had a stick or something I could […]

Read More If you hadn’t noticed

Another challenge!!

The working on my walking challenges everything: my balance, my dodgy left leg, my will to force myself forward, everything really. But I am so happy 😀 I walked up and down the stairs at James’ parents! 💪🏻✊🏼 Here’s a picture of the stairs i made it up!! Also his sister and his brother and […]

Read More Another challenge!!

My number one for a reason…

Is James. He came round to keep me company when mum went to the midnight communion in church and before she came home he helped me walk to the stairlift and assisted me to get change into my jammies and made sure I was comfortable for sleeping before mum got home cause she didn’t get […]

Read More My number one for a reason…

Christmas Eve excitement!

Today is Christmas Eve so it’s a great day filled with happiness!! My happiness has just been topped of by a message from my great aunt sending me a picture of the painting I painted for her and my great uncle up in their dining room 🙂 At least I know it’s in a good […]

Read More Christmas Eve excitement!

Cool brother!

Must be my brother from another mother! 😜. Or maybe I’m the sister from another mister! My friend Gareth who moved now lives in Dublin is up for Christmas and took the time to come and visit me! He brought me this Christmas Card cause he said it was the only one he saw, 😏 […]

Read More Cool brother!

What Saturday does to you!

This Saturday James kindly offer to cook dinner so he pick me up! Probably wished he hadn’t bothered!… this was me after dinner! This has brain injury written all over it. I’m now sh*t company. Fell asleep when watching tv (I’ll blame it on the program!)

Read More What Saturday does to you!

I’ll box your ears!

Tonight went down to our house and James cooked a lovely dinner of steak 🥩 potatoes 🥔 and pepper sauce! We watched something on tv, specifically the boxing. When I was relaxed and do and then I got so tired I fell asleep for like 40 minutes! Just before I fell asleep properly James got […]

Read More I’ll box your ears!

Beautiful flowers 💐

My work sent me some beautiful flowers and a lovely card. So good of them. Shows they care as they didn’t have to do anything. And I have had a brilliant night with James. He cooked us dinner and we watched some tv 📺

Read More Beautiful flowers 💐

Highlight of my week

Walking practice again! I love physio so much. It’s actually the highlight of my week. It’s funny that cause though I enjoyed the gym i wouldn’t have said it was the highlight of my week before all this nonsense!

Read More Highlight of my week

Great evening!

Last night (Friday night) was spent very well. James picked me up to go to the Ulster match and as usual for convenance we parked at granny’s for convenience. So i got to see my uncle and grandparents! Then we made our way to our friend Alastair’s house and met his two new pet kittens […]

Read More Great evening!

You are dumped!

You are dumped! We aren’t going ‘stedy’ anymore!! Bye bye 👋🏻 Victoria and I have decided I’m going to try and walk everywhere from now on with the assistance of one! I’m up for it! As they tell kids ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again’ and that’s what I’m going to […]

Read More You are dumped!

Handwriting

My hand writing was never very nice or elegant but it was made worse by Trevor. But it’s getting better. Today I wrote two Christmas cards for my friends Sarah and Charlotte. It might look good for a kid but I’m 26! At least TBI Trevor affected my left side and not my right side […]

Read More Handwriting

Walking wee beaaatch

I know bloody Trevor Bernard Irvine has made me a wee beaatch. Linda even calls me a wee beatch! But she also said I’d be a walking wee beatch by the summer!! I hope I’ll be a wee walking beatch by the summer time. I’ll be a wee walking beeatch from castlereagh to poleglass!

Read More Walking wee beaaatch

The greatest show-woman!!

The best thing that happens these days – PHYSIO! The nhs physio who came along with Physio Victoria! It Was a brilliant session walking and the stairs were done. It has been decided the walking stick is the way forward for me the gutter frame is simply therapeutic now. Victoria said about nevermind the greatest […]

Read More The greatest show-woman!!

9 o’clock exhaustion

This is just so crazy it’s only 9.15 pm and I feel like it’s bed time! Before Trevor tbi existed the night wouldn’t even have started at this time but now I feel like I could go ahead to bed! Zzz 😴 wonder will I ever be able to build my energy levels up. Hope […]

Read More 9 o’clock exhaustion

Coffee morning such a success!

Today had a wee coffee morning/get together to display my paintings and try and raise money for BIM. Did a wee ballot ticket were you could win a bottle of prosecco x2 and an afternoon tea in la mon! 🙂 my friend Sophie’s partner won the afternoon tea 🙂 And christine brought Amber and Ayla […]

Read More Coffee morning such a success!

Two very hot potatoes!

My superb Friday friend Sophie came around. I’ve been hot stuff all day with a temperature 🤒 because of this I decided to stay up stairs this afternoon/evening. Sophie chilled upstairs with me we took this photo to show we were really hot irish spuds (potatoes) haha 🥔🥔!!

Read More Two very hot potatoes!

Show me the way to go home

I’m tired and I wanna go to bed. Maybe it’s the time of year but I’m just feeling a bit down. Doesn’t help that everyone has their Christmas parties this time of year and I sadly don’t work just yet, I can’t walk by myself and only have one functioning hand at the minute. So […]

Read More Show me the way to go home

Encouraging employability

Cedar is an organization that enables people with disabilities (including brain injury) to get fully involved with their communities. ‘Our Vision is an inclusive society for all.’ ‘Our Mission is to support individuals and families living with disability, autism and brain injury to live the lives they choose’ Today I had my first meeting and […]

Read More Encouraging employability

The Boulevard!

I went with James, Christine, Amber and Ayla today! It was lovely 🙂 got a new coat and lovely burgundy sweatpants in gap! here’s my new coat: Then we went for lunch in the Boulevard, and after lunch then James drove me home. We spent the rest of the afternoon/evening in our home together. We […]

Read More The Boulevard!

Rekindling our friendship!

Today I went to forestside to meet a friend I made in hospital. She is so lovely. As crap as it was we only met cause we were in hospital together I’m so glad I met her cause there is no way we have met otherwise we are from different ends of the country! I […]

Read More Rekindling our friendship!

Emotional wreck!

I know I’ve written already about going into town but on the way back we left granny home and wee pop came out to the car. I might have said these before but there is definitely a special wee bond between me and him. He was retired from work when I was born so he […]

Read More Emotional wreck!

Drive into town

Mum, granny and I took a drive into town. I had ordered some clothes out of top shop and they didn’t suit so Linda was gonna take them back. It makes me soooo sad I couldn’t just go in when I want at the moment. Things keep coming up that really fill up the depression.

Read More Drive into town

Unsure how I feel!

I’m feeling a little confused like i just want home now but I know I’m not able to go yet cause I’m ‘not ready’. I feel kind of the same as I did towards the end of my hospital stay (but not bad) fed up! But I’ve just got to bare in mind I was […]

Read More Unsure how I feel!

Gin makes you sin!

I might have been having gin and elderflower cordial but I definitely wasn’t sinning! No punches were thrown tonight!! Had such a lovely evening! James was going to a party so I had to make sure I had my own party planned! My mum, godmother, her daughter and her husband came round for dinner and […]

Read More Gin makes you sin!

Trolley!

Had brilliant session with physio Victoria today. She said about how much my legs have improved in like the 6 months she has been here 😀 so today I was standing holding on to the handles of the steady like a trolley so my next plan is to go for a walk around markies or […]

Read More Trolley!

Good start to the weekend!

My lovely pa Angela was here this afternoon. I was going upstairs for Angela to help with my makeup (she was a makeup artist before so she is the only one I let now, don’t let mum/Linda anymore cause I want to look my age not 30 years older!) Obviously walked it to the stairlift […]

Read More Good start to the weekend!

Exhibition!

Was looking through my paintings this morning and decided what one to display next week at my art exhibition! I’m gonna display the ones on the flooor! The ones on the chair are some of first ones so not my best!!

Read More Exhibition!

When we first met

Michelle my lovely pa came round tonight to let my mum go out for a Christmas dinner with some friends. We had a lovely night. We watched ‘when we first met’ it was a good wee chick flick feel good film.

Read More When we first met

Today’s successes

Today was a success 🙂 swimming was brilliant! Then had physio this evening. When I was at swimming their was two men and they said to Andrea they had seen me there for a few months and they could really see a difference in me 🙂 made me feel very happy cause they didn’t have […]

Read More Today’s successes

Smooth criminal

I might have told this story before but it’s a good one. It was a Friday night and I was just out for the evening, nothing special. I was 19 so a baby adult. I wasn’t out on the ‘pull’ to get someone or anything it was just good luck. What happened was James was […]

Read More Smooth criminal

Headbanger!

When I was a young teenager I was an ’emo’ but all the ‘millys’ and ‘spieds’ called me a ‘goth’ or ‘head banger’. I always hated it but little did I know ‘head banger’ was quite right.

Read More Headbanger!

So near but so far

Fear of missing out is something I had never experienced before. It’s not I’m not invited to things I just don’t want to go in that bloody wheelchair and I know that some of you are thinking ‘give over you should be grateful you have one’ it’s just so frustrating cause I am so close […]

Read More So near but so far

JOYYY

As usual I had the joy of physio tonight. The video is a very small wrist movement but it shows progress has not stopped and the wrist is usually the last place to come cause the recovery works its way down the arm so it’s still moving! And I did the wrist movement about 10 […]

Read More JOYYY

Lifted my left leg!

The more I think about what I’m about to say the more I think I sound like a dog 🐕 I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. I sat on the toilet to get my trousers off and i managed to lift my ‘crap’ left leg up to balance/hold it on the steady. […]

Read More Lifted my left leg!

I am!

I’m still trying! No one could deny that. It’s funny how when you’re younger being ‘a trier’ is an insult.

Read More I am!

My skin could relax!

Physio today was good. Had nhs physio and she was getting me to focus on my left glute! And also move my hand on the steady so I can’t pull myself into standing at all! Need to use those legs. Today I also had a makeup free day so though my muscles had to work […]

Read More My skin could relax!

Captain predictable!

Captain Predictable at your service! Me and James had a joke last night, I’m now captain predictable. He’s going out at the weekend which he deserves. It’s Christmas time and he’s been so good through this whole thing but I was feeling sorry for myself when I heard. He said I haven’t changed I was […]

Read More Captain predictable!

Hit it on the head!

I was having a lovely chat with my uncle tonight and he told me how much he liked my flower paintings. He had already asked for poppies for his neighbour and said he really liked the flowers I did for his neighbour and I’d done exactly what he’d wanted. ‘I’d really hit the nail on […]

Read More Hit it on the head!

:)

I make everything a ‘laughing matter’ now! I don’t think I have much seriousness left!

Read More 🙂

I have no idea!

We laugh all the time cause it’s an on going joke now. I say ‘I have no idea’ all the time cause I think the injury has effected my memory and made me unsure about a lot so as have been saying ‘I have no idea’ about things to Linda since I got home, if […]

Read More I have no idea!

Cracking (Craicing) night!

Was down in mine and James house tonight for a Chinese it was good! Lovely food and great company! Watched a film called Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. When that was over we then proceeded to watch 2/3 episodes of the old favourite Greys Anatomy. When James and I were just watching tv after dinner […]

Read More Cracking (Craicing) night!

Today

Thanks to the Harris’s again – they let me and James use their rugby passes again! The match was good. Victory for Ulster! Then walked (James wheeled me to granny’s around the corner though I hate that thought of being wheeled, unable to move yourself.) In granny’s saw my mums cousins which was lovely.

Read More Today

Dinner date!

Tonight had a very successful dinner date with James’s family and walked up stairs to use the bathroom!! Wooo! (who ever thought you could be this pleased with yourself for peeing!) Also had the absolute pleasure of seeing new family member Ayla again 😀

Read More Dinner date!

Glued together.

I have to hand it to James. He has been amazing through this whole mess. ❤ Not once has anything about this situation been too much for him to bare, he’s always been there and for that I’m so grateful. That was before we even said the vows ‘in sickness and in health’. I described […]

Read More Glued together.

Dread, Hate, Sorrow

I am just filled with so much dread, hate and sorrow. I dread how my immediate future looks, I hate many things (everything really including myself) more than I have ever hated anything before and I feel sorrow that I can’t put into words.

Read More Dread, Hate, Sorrow

Sonny day!! ☀️

I was trying to encourage my ‘wick’ left hand to work this morning by holding my wee son, Sonny 🙂 kind of successful my left arm is definitely getting better quicker and more responsive but as the physio told me before the hand is the last to come. So no calling it the ‘crap’ arm. […]

Read More Sonny day!! ☀️

Good memory

At least my memory was excellent prior this mess I’m in now. When I was about 11/12 and had moved to ‘big school’ after doing the transfer test (which I had luckily got a b1 in and I had got in to my school of choice Wellington College which was a brilliant school I should […]

Read More Good memory

Fed up!!

Not long before the tbi. How much I was taking for granted around that time: work, holidays, my situation, general life, how simple things were vs how challenging they have become. And tonight made it specially difficult cause James was out (not that I’m annoyed at him going out at all. I’m not.) It was […]

Read More Fed up!!

Granted

I wish I could be a fairy godmother and say I would grant your wish, but life is not that straight forward. And also not why I named this blog post granted. It’s named that cause I honestly don’t think before all this I realised what I had going for me. So I was taking […]

Read More Granted

Toss and tumble

I feel like I have no life. I don’t even know who my friends are anymore. Just feel crap. I think all my blog entries are kind of samey now and there is definitely a connection between having a high on physio (which is good) and swiftly taking a tumble and falling down in mood […]

Read More Toss and tumble

Fantastic night :)

Tonight I went out with a lady I used to work in an after school club with and a lady who son went to that after school (we are talking about 5ish years ago I used to work there) I would say it was the best/most fulfilling job I’ve had, assisting the growth of kids […]

Read More Fantastic night 🙂

Want it back!

I still absolutely no memory of the engagement so it makes me kind of sad when this comes up as a 3 year memory on Facebook 😦 Maybe I’ll make it an anniversary of sadness cause I’ll go on about it every year. Sorry.

Read More Want it back!

My lazy eye!

Tonight Angela my angel came up for a bit I did a little standing and then we watch a lovely film ‘The princess switch’ 🙂 There was a line it were she talked about having a dodgy eye. “I have a lazy eye. Not all time just when I’m fatigued!” It was maybe suppose to […]

Read More My lazy eye!

Sadness is back.

There is definitely a connection about being more active, trying to be more independent and happiness. I’m tumbling again cause I’m home, in bed and nothing’s going on. And I stumbled upon these photos which make me so sad 😭. My cousins wedding which I was clearly at but I have literally zero memory of. […]

Read More Sadness is back.

20th November

Today I was swimming and it was successful!! I was wearing goggles again and putting my head under the water again. The instructor is letting me become a little more independent. Not totally but she’s not holding on so much and letting me be slightly more independent which is a positive!! 🙂 Also my left […]

Read More 20th November

Resilience:Adaption

“According to Newman (2005) resilience is the ability to adapt when faced with tragedy, trauma, adversity, hardship and continuous significant life stressors. ” When I went to see the psychologist today she mentioned that ‘resilience’ was a common thing that seemed to occur in brain injury. I’ve never appreciated how ‘resilient’ and ‘strong’ I could […]

Read More Resilience:Adaption

I brought it on and beat it!

Stayed in mine and James’s and managed the stairs successfully! But I’m back at mums now and I’m feeling a little sad I couldn’t stay there for good. But on the other hand I found out that James has become quite good in the kitchen I got lovely porridge for breakfast!

Read More I brought it on and beat it!

You’ve come so far!

It actually took me to see a few photos of the old hoist to make me realise how far I’d come. It’s actually a little unbelievable how little I could do for myself. How pathetic this makes me feel now I don’t think I’d realised how little I could do. Basically zero. How lucky are […]

Read More You’ve come so far!

Bus into town!

It’s crazy cause from I was about 12 until I was 17 I wanted a car so I didn’t have to get the bus anymore!! Were as now at this present moment I REALLY just want to hobble about so I can get the bus! How times have changed!

Read More Bus into town!

Massive achievement!

Tonight when Victoria was here for physio great things happened! Standing by myself with just my right hand leaning against the wall. Managed to stand for 60seconds. Not very long but so satisfying cause it was the first minute I’d stood by myself in 2 years! For me it felt like a massive achievement! Here’s […]

Read More Massive achievement!

Strength

its hard to admit you’re not as strong as everyone thinks you are but I’m feeling quite weak at the moment. Weak and fed up.

Read More Strength

Stairs at mums!

Today physio was brilliant as usual. Victoria has such faith in me, maybe more than I have in myself sometimes. At the start I was working on my arm and transfers with just Victoria. At the end of the physio session! I WALKED up mums stairs and back down them! So happy! I need remember […]

Read More Stairs at mums!

I’m at the stage…

Rehabilitation is actually ‘fun’ now the worst is over and i see the glow at the end of this path. Exercise done and stood for an hour and 30 minutes! Now I’m just going to get my nails done so I’m definitely ready for the weekend!!

Read More I’m at the stage…

Ragin’ Reb

My uncle has gave me a new nickname – Ragin’ Reb! I quite like it cause it lets people know what to expect and I can always be raging.

Read More Ragin’ Reb

Standing!

Today was successful. In total I stood for 3 hours! An hour each 3 times. And tomorrow is physio, can’t wait 😊 hopefully more walking practice!!

Read More Standing!

Lovely visit!!

Today a lovely girl who was in hospital at the same as me visited with her boyfriend. It was so lovely to see them! 🙂 It was very encouraging to see her again, she looks great! And I was hearing about the adventures she’s recently been on, it is so encouraging to hear how well […]

Read More Lovely visit!!

Prisoner

Watching a Louis Theroux documentary on prison and I feel like I’m trapped in a prison! I’ve been locked up and the key has been thrown away.

Read More Prisoner

Lovely afternoon!

This afternoon I met a lovely couple. Vincent Ward and his wife Sharon. Vincent was in my sort of situation around 20 years ago. He was doing was doing the Mara cycle from Dublin to Belfast when a drunk driver came and hit him and not only caused breaks in his arm and leg gave […]

Read More Lovely afternoon!

Bye bye blues

I just got the pick me up I needed. My absolute gem of an uncle just arrived from London today. Surprised us all, mum didn’t know either she was shocked too, but it was a lovely shock for us all.

Read More Bye bye blues

Late afternoon…

And as usual the sadness has started to creep in 😦 I really don’t know what I can do to prevent this. I just want to be able to live back at my own house for a start and take it from there. At least that would be a start. It’s like my mind hates […]

Read More Late afternoon…

:)

This morning was productive! Stretches, painted for my physios daughter and stood nearly an hour! 🙂

Read More 🙂